The Sneakret Prankery of The Long Kitten

This was a week which saw the end of the brief but glorious reign of the hand-operated paper-shredder – which is what tends to happen when you jump out of bed and forget to put your glasses on. Gerblash!! And my new system of shelf-edge labels to bring some semblance of other-than-anarchy to the dissolute mayhem of the kitchen cubbids only provided The Long Kitten with further opportunity to wreak his particular brand of subversive prankery when I found the word “napkins” had been subtly altered so it read “mirkins.” Anyone who doesn't know what George Bush meant when he said “I'm proud to be a mirkin.” may be puzzled about why this particular wig would have suited him so extremely well. Look it up, I'm too embarrassed to tell.
The first instance of The L.K.'s fiendish prankery occurred nowhere other than the desktop off the compuker whereon (&of) I write. This is how he did it thusly like so: there was a picture of a fish in murkshades of underwateryness which we treasured apawn the very desktop whereof I now speakest. Well he sneakretly sneaks the appropriate file into Photoshop and adds untow it - pasted upawn the topp in the centre somewhat - the screenshot of a google image search whose terms were the words “Goose-Porn”. When Tiddlebat discoverst this he trieth many times to click upon the fake buttons of the phony window and discoverest that it do not close. Wot do he then but to shut down the entire compuker and is verily much puzzled when the same window is still open upon restarting the accursed machine. Meanwhile L.K is convulsed in fits of merriment in the corner watching all this go on. Truly that child is possessed of several devils.
When I was a child my mother had a lively horror of frogs and toads. I'm afraid that I used to frequently place them inside the gumboots she used for gardening hoping she would encounter it with her stockinged foot. I also put them in her bed often enough, horrid little brat that I was. Perhaps that is where The L.K. Gets it from, which raises all kinds of questions about the genetic component of evilness. I shall crawl off into a dark cubbid to consider these while I gnaw upon the bones of dead bats.